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seperation

do you ever feel like you yourself, aren’t really attached to your body.. and your brain?

i know you dont get what i’m saying..

it just seems like sometimes i dont feel like i’m me.

i’m a 19 y/o with an old soul, in a beaten and broken body.

and.. i’m afraid to go to the doctor. because i think i am getting Parkinson’s disease.

its frightening.. that i loose my memories or thoughts at the click of a pen. they return when i dont need them, and soon again gone.

i’m not one of those people who thinks they have diseases all the time.. i’m being serioius.

and the last time i had xrays, at 18.. my knees already had arthritis. my ankles have been broken, my back has had fractures and my face has had more stitches then i have had birthdays. 

i dont know how to help myself.

i tell people i want to die young. thats not true.

I just dont want to die sick and unable. i want to die happy. and living. 

20 notes

  1. lovelikethieves reblogged this from lovelikethieves
  2. themindofaninsanelittlegirl said: i hate this feeling sooo much. its almost like a numbness sometimes. and lately ive been feeling it alot. i hope you can get away from it.
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