do you ever feel like you yourself, aren’t really attached to your body.. and your brain?
i know you dont get what i’m saying..
it just seems like sometimes i dont feel like i’m me.
i’m a 19 y/o with an old soul, in a beaten and broken body.
and.. i’m afraid to go to the doctor. because i think i am getting Parkinson’s disease.
its frightening.. that i loose my memories or thoughts at the click of a pen. they return when i dont need them, and soon again gone.
i’m not one of those people who thinks they have diseases all the time.. i’m being serioius.
and the last time i had xrays, at 18.. my knees already had arthritis. my ankles have been broken, my back has had fractures and my face has had more stitches then i have had birthdays.
i dont know how to help myself.
i tell people i want to die young. thats not true.
I just dont want to die sick and unable. i want to die happy. and living.